Watch Your Future Fade

*Yawn* It's Thursday, April 1st. Hello world.

It's so nice hear people moving into relationships in their lives...NOT!

Funny isn't it? I always say "How come you never told me?" but now I know why. Not that fun when you hang out with couples. In fact, it can be quite annoying. Like for example, I went for a movie with a close friend of mine and her boyfriend. Unfortunately, we sat at the 3 chairs on the side at GSC. They were leaning on each other holding hands and obstructing my view of the screen. Ugh. I remember storming out of the cinema after that leaving the cinema as quick as I could. But maybe it was the circumstances surrounding the ordeal that made me sick to my stomach. But that's a story for another day.

I don't know. Maybe it's because I've been spending to much time in the KOI Universe that I'm suffering reality withdrawals. I like the KOI Universe, makes me feel better than you.

*Sigh*

But honestly, the worst feeling I guess is when you spend months thinking about a girl and she inadvertently shoots you down and then announces she has a boyfriend.

He may be a band or an athlete or in someways better than you.

What do you say? I remember what I said.

"Congratulations! Who's the lucky guy?"

When I really wanted to say:

"OK well, you have fun with that, we aren't going to be as friendly as we used to be."

Which is kind of true I mean, why would I waste my time talking to someone who is ignorant to the fact that she shot me down?

OK fine so maybe I'm a little unfair. But I've noticed that when a friend, regardless of guy or girl says "I'm in a relationship.", I tend to push that person away for a while.

It's like when we were both single it was:

"What's up my brother? Wanna hang?"

"Yeah sure bro, just let me know where and when!"

Now that one of us is in a relationship it's:

"What's up my brother? Wanna hang?"

"Busy. (Even when I'm not)"

I'm like Ted from How I Met Your Mother in that sense.

The couple complex.

I may feel differently when I enter a relationship. But right now, it's kind of the way I roll. Sometimes, I feel when you're announcing that piece of information to me it's like saying:

1. I'm better than you.
2. I have no time for you now.
3. I'll be bringing my boyfriend/girlfriend when we hang out and act all lovey dovey.

But the absolute worst is one is:

"We had our first kiss yesterday."

What can make you possibly believe that I care about that? I don't even expect my best friend or even my brother to tell me about it. I don't care if we're homies. Keep that piece of information to yourself.

No you know what the absolute WORST one is:

"We had sex for the first time yesterday."

I mean did I even ask? How do I respond to that?

"How was it?"

"Details man!"

"Let's talk positions."

"Protection?"

"What song was playing when you guys did it?"

Are you kidding me? What do you want me to do? Give you a high five? For all I know you stuck your finger up her ass or something. Ugh. Awkward.

It's a bad habit, but you know what?

Sue me.

To those of my friends who are in a relationship, I hope you have a long and prosperous relationship.

But for the love of all things holy. Don't write "You're amazing." on your status updates! We have wall-to-wall for a reason and even that can be draining.

Here's an idea, send a text! Be in love on your own time! Some of us feel nauseous with the "I wuv you baby!" and the "I mish you sho much!"

Get married! Then you'll be eternally together!

Now put that in your pipe and smoke it!